Distress Tolerance Skills: A Guide for Beginners

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Ever find yourself in a situation where stress or emotions seem to be running the show? As humans, it’s unavoidable. That's why I’m diving into something super helpful: Distress Tolerance Skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Whether you're dealing with a super tough day at work, a challenging relationship, or just feeling very overwhelmed by life, DBT's distress tolerance skills can be total game-changers.

In this blog post, we're going to unpack what distress tolerance is all about and give you some practical tips and techniques to help you navigate those moments when things feel a bit too much. Get ready to learn how to ride the waves of stress and emotion effectively without making things any worse. Let's jump right in and explore how DBT can empower you to handle life's ups and downs with more ease and resilience.

What is distress tolerance?

DBT's distress tolerance module is like a toolkit for handling tough situations without making things worse. It's all about learning how to tolerate distressing emotions without letting them overwhelm you or lead to impulsive actions. Picture it as a set of skills that help you stay grounded when things get rough—whether it's using mindfulness to stay present, distracting yourself with activities, or accepting reality as it is without judgment. These skills aren't just about surviving stressful moments; they're about building resilience and giving yourself the space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

What are distress tolerance skills?

DBT's distress tolerance module focuses on teaching skills to help individuals manage crises and intense emotions effectively. The core skills include:

Distraction: Using activities or thoughts to divert attention away from the distressing situation temporarily.
Self-Soothing: Engaging in comforting and nurturing activities to calm oneself during times of distress.
Improving the Moment: Finding ways to make the current moment more bearable, such as focusing on positive aspects or using imagery.
Pros and Cons: Evaluating the positive and negative consequences of potential actions before making a decision.
TIP Skills: Using Temperature (changing temperature to change emotion), Intense exercise (to change emotions), Paced breathing (to calm), and Paired muscle relaxation (to calm).
ACCEPTS: Using activities to distract oneself from distressing emotions or situations, including Activities (engaging in hobbies or interests), Contributing (helping others), Comparisons (comparing to those in worse situations), Emotions (acting opposite to current emotions), Pushing away (mentally or physically), Thoughts (thinking of something else).
Radical Acceptance: Fully accepting reality as it is without judgment or resistance. This involves acknowledging and embracing the present situation, even if it's painful or difficult.
Half Smiling: This technique involves forming a slight smile with your lips, which can help trick your brain into feeling more relaxed or positive, even if you don't feel like smiling naturally.
Willing Hands: Practicing openness and willingness to accept the current situation. This involves physically extending your hands with palms up and fingers relaxed, symbolizing openness and receptivity to what is happening.
Alternate Rebellion: Engaging in healthy or positive rebellion against negative urges or impulses. This could involve doing something unexpected or out of the ordinary that aligns with your values and helps you assert control in a constructive way.

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When should you practice distress tolerance skills?

You should turn to DBT distress tolerance skills whenever you find yourself in a situation where your emotions are overwhelming, or you're facing intense stress or crisis. These skills are particularly useful during moments of high emotional arousal, when your usual coping mechanisms might not be enough to keep you grounded. Whether you're dealing with sudden anger, profound sadness, overwhelming anxiety, or facing a challenging circumstance that feels too much to handle, DBT distress tolerance skills can provide practical strategies to help you navigate through the storm. They empower you to stay composed, make thoughtful decisions, and maintain a sense of control, even in the midst of difficulty. They help you to be less reactive and impulsive, by not making an already tough situation much worse. When practicing these skills regularly, you can build resilience and enhance your ability to cope with life's inevitable ups and downs more effectively and wisely.

Example of using distress tolerance skills

Imagine Sarah, a college student, has just received a disappointing grade on an important exam she studied really hard for. Initially, she feels a surge of panic and self-criticism. Instead of letting these emotions overwhelm her, Sarah remembers the DBT distress tolerance skills she learned in therapy. She takes a deep breath to center herself and acknowledges her feelings without fighting her current reality. She intentionally avoids thinking thoughts that add to her negative emotions such as “that this shouldn’t have happened, it’s unfair, the professor has it out for me.” this is radical acceptance in action. Recognizing that she can't change the grade now, Sarah decides to use the distraction skill. She puts on her favorite music and goes for a walk outside to clear her mind. As she walks, Sarah practices half-smiling, reminding herself to stay calm and not let this setback ruin her day. Returning home, she employs the willing hands technique, consciously opening her palms to symbolize acceptance and openness to the experience. By utilizing these DBT distress tolerance skills, Sarah effectively navigates her emotional dysregulation, doesn’t engage in impulsive behaviors making the day worse, and takes proactive steps towards acceptance and resilience.

Woman wearing backpack and walking in the park. Looking to learn more about distress tolerance skills in New York, NY? Anxiety Treatment in NY can teach you what you need to know.

Ways to incorporate distress

tolerance skills when things feel hard

Breath work or paced breathing: Use deep breathing exercises (like diaphragmatic breathing) to calm your nervous system during moments of stress.

Self-Soothing Activities: Engage in activities that soothe your senses, such as taking a warm bath, listening to calming music, or using scented candles.

Distracting Techniques: Use distraction in healthy ways by immersing yourself in activities or hobbies that require focus, such as puzzles, reading, or exercise.

Radical Acceptance: Work on accepting situations as they are, even when they are difficult or painful, to reduce inner conflict and distress. Utilize acceptance coping statements such as:

"It is what it is, and fighting against it only brings more suffering."

"I cannot change the past or control the future; I can only control how I respond right now."

Create a Crisis Survival Kit: Prepare a kit with comforting items, inspiring quotes, self-soothing tools, distracting activities, grounding objects, or personal comforts that help you manage distress during challenging times.

Improving the Moment: Find ways to make the current moment more bearable or even enjoyable, such as focusing on small pleasures or finding humor in the situation.

Develop Coping Statements: Create and use affirmations or coping statements that resonate with you to reinforce your ability to handle distressing situations. Some might include:

"This too shall pass."

"I am strong enough to handle this."

"I can take this one step at a time."

"I choose peace over worry."

"I am in control of my thoughts and actions."

"I am resilient and can bounce back from this."

"I trust myself to make the right decisions."

Consistency and patience are key when integrating these during stressful times. Each person may find certain techniques more effective than others, so it can be helpful to experiment and adapt these strategies to fit your unique needs and circumstances.

Incorporating DBT distress tolerance skills into your life isn't about avoiding challenges—it's about facing them with resilience and a clear mind. Whether you're dealing with everyday stressors or unexpected setbacks, these skills offer practical tools to help you stay grounded and make thoughtful choices. Remember, it's okay to start small and practice these techniques regularly. Over time, you'll build confidence in your ability to navigate difficult moments with grace and determination. So, embrace these skills, keep exploring new ways to apply them, and watch how they empower you to handle life's ups and downs like a champ. You've got this!

Learn Distress Tolerance Skills through DBT Therapy in New York, NY Today!

If you're struggling with anxiety and other challenging emotions, learning distress tolerance skills can be a crucial step in improving your mood and wellbeing. At Bianca VonBank Therapy, I offer compassionate support and evidence-based therapy to help you develop these essential DBT skills. My goal is to empower you to manage intense emotions and urges in a healthy way. Your path to healing and recovery starts with Dialectical Behavioral Therapy in New York, NY. Take the first step towards a happier and healthier life by following the steps below:

Reach out to schedule a free consultation.
Speak with an experienced DBT therapist.
Learn distress tolerance skills to help you achieve your life worth living today!

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At Bianca VonBank Therapy, I provide a variety of services tailored to support your mental health and well-being. In addition to offering Binge Eating Disorder Treatment in New York, NY, I specialize in providing therapy for a number of concerns. This includes Therapy for Women and Anxiety Treatment. In therapy, I address common issues such as body image concerns, burnout, perfectionism, and relationship issues. My approach is grounded in evidence-based practices. These practices include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Whether you're seeking help for a specific issue or aiming to enhance your overall mental wellness, I am committed to delivering personalized and effective care to facilitate your growth. Reach out today to discover more and embark on your journey toward a life filled with fulfillment and tranquility.